WHAT'S SERIOUS?

I have had the great fortune of spending this Labor Day weekend with my family. Sometimes it’s nice to get out of Chicago and spend some time away. Since I’ve been home sleeping in my childhood bed and spending time with my family, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I’m serious about in life. Life is a serious endeavor. Now, I don’t think that means life isn’t fun. I think a whole lot of people misunderstand the meaning of the word “serious.” I think most people misunderstand the word to mean something closer to “boring.” But to me, life is about: choices, consequences and relationships (platonic, business, romantic and otherwise). And in those, there is a great deal of beauty and a whole lot of heart-breaking ugliness.

How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?

Well… In my personal experience, I’ve found that one of the greatest sources of friction between men and women come from their differing conceptions of what each is “serious” about in their relationship (the daily, intimate and future-planning aspects alike). The source of this friction and confusion seems to come from a misunderstanding of the importance of how serious our lives and relationships are.

Since I have been home, I have had the opportunity to spend a lot of important time with one of the wisest men in my life: my father. Now, it’s more than simple childhood hero-worship of the old guy (well…he’s not that old). My father/mother/brother, along with several other men/women in my life, have been directly responsible for the inspiration that has led to a great deal of the successes in my life. In life, I have been blessed to have wise people around me.

Today, I spent time with an Uncle of mine who hasn’t been doing too well lately. He’s not a young man and I’m really hoping that I’ll get to have another Christmas with him. I have a lot of memories and anecdotal stories of him…he’s definitely one of a kind, and without a doubt still one of the coolest men I’ve ever met. The man has style, and he's had STYLE and SUBSTANCE all his life. It's rare to come across someone with both in this life.

So… how does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?

After spending time with my family, I’m once again asking myself what I’m most serious about in life, my choices, and the relationships I choose to maintain. I’ve been fortunate enough to see a little piece of the world, and establish serious and long-term relationships with people who are very much different from me. However, every single person in my life that I keep close to me is a person of SUBSTANCE. I’ll elaborate on “substance” in the not too distant future, but for now I’ll leave it at that.

Ultimately, coming home and talking to some of the old people in my family has made me think about being serious. Too often people in general, and I in particular, clutter their minds and lives with a whole mess of non-sense that brings no POSITIVE SUBSTANCE to our lives. I’m working to eliminate as much unnecessary clutter as possible. It’s something that I have become more serious about.

I’m not talking about forgetting all the details, or ignoring the aesthetic pleasures of life. Some of life’s details enhance our understanding of life itself, and bring a measure of personal pleasure.

There’s nothing wrong with personal pleasure. I know I enjoy personal pleasure. I’m talking about staying focused on things that are important. Images are simply tools to dazzle the eyes of fools. And often, we see others in the form of images, because we are serious about possessing something that seems to reflect our imagination. But truth be told, I’m not particularly serious about being a fool these days.

Peace and Love,

nosthegametoo