APPRECATION: EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED?
By the time we reach adulthood, we should have figured out two things: 1) Words are cheap; 2) Even though words are cheap, they have tremendous value.
Now, that sure seems like a contradiction to me, but I guess it’s one of those absurdities of life we have to deal with. Perhaps relationships aren’t always about finding a perfect match, but more like dancing to the same tune, even if you both have trouble remembering all the words correctly.
How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?
Well… I don’t think know anybody who doesn’t revel in being appreciated. I mean, come on, who wants to think of themselves as irrelevant. But it’s not a one-way street. The truth is: appreciation without expression is not appreciation.
The man in the dictionary tells me that Appreciation is: “Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things.” That makes sense to me. So I have to wonder, do I express my appreciation to those who have earned it? The answer, quite sadly, is not as often as they have earned it.
In my experience, I’ve found that expressing appreciation is very big when dealing with women. I’ve seen other men try to purchase tokens of appreciation. I’ve seen women solicited material and emotional appreciation they haven’t earned. And I’m sure we’ve all seen variations of expressing and soliciting appreciation from our own unique perspectives.
But the question remains: How do you choose to recognize the significance of your mate?
It’s so easy to be selfish. It’s so easy to be thoughtless. It’s so easy to play the perennial victim because “I’ve been hurt in the past,” and all that crap. But the truth is, we can’t maintain a functioning relationship with our current partner if we are penalizing them for some loser WE OURSELVES choose in the past. Caution is paramount in life, but timidity and non-action can be just as detrimental as any other poor choice.
I wish I could say I’m sorry for all the times I forgot to tell my partner how special they are. But I can’t go back. However, I can go forward. It takes time, but I’m working on it.
But I have to ask: Is it just me, or does anyone else see that they need to do a better job of letting the important people know how special they really are?
Peace and Love,