Recently, I attended a bachelor party held for a guy I knew from years ago. The event was supposed to be extravagant. The host flew in from overseas to organize it here in Chicago. Personally, I wasn’t particularly excited. This guy wasn’t a real friend of mine, and I’m not a fan of the host, in the least. In fact, I predicted the host would come here in a thinly veiled and vulgar attempt at self-aggrandizement; it was a plain and predictable consequence of his financially successful year overseas. He did not disappoint.
While the bachelor party was terrible, it was great to see my best friend. He came in town because the future groom is a former close friend (or rather jealous friend) of his who fortunately has drifted from him in recent years. He stayed with me, and as individuals, we actually had a great time. Then again, no matter where we are on the planet, we're gonna have a good time.
The party itself was a different story. The host was an ass all night long. I must admit, I do feel a bit sorry for the future groom. That was THE worst send-off a guy could have. But hey, when you rely on a Little Big Man to organize your bachelor party, mostly in his own honor, that’s what you get.
No wonder I skipped all the events for Friday and Sunday, and most of Saturday’s.
How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?
Well… in my experience, women are not all that fond of The Stag Party. At least the women I know. That might be with good reason, but based on my experience at these things, the future groom usually doesn’t cross that line from raunchy fun to actually doing something he should regret. And if he has TRUE friends, they keep an eye on him.
But then again, it’s still kind of hard for some women to handle. I guess the same can be said for men. I’m not all too enthusiastic about the prospect of an erect penis gyrating in my lady’s face… or worse.
Yup, I can do without that.
But come on, these things are suppose to be “Send-Offs”. The truth is there’s nothing that happens at a bachelor party that can’t happen on a business trip, a day off work or a night out with some mischievous buddies. We have to have faith in our partners. Otherwise, the relationship is doomed anyway.
For instance, my best friend has a wonderful wife. She is definitely a sweetheart. But she spent far too much time worrying over nothing when it came to him attending a bachelor party. She was greatly concerned he would do two things she deems outrageous:
1) Sex/A sexual act with another woman.
2) Smoking cigarettes (yeah, she puts smoking almost on the same level).
Neither of these things happened. She worried and worried over absolutely nothing. I’ll bet she didn’t sleep a wink that night. I hate to think that she troubled herself over nothing. It's bad for her piece of mind, and it's bad for his.
I though it was a bit excessive, so I talked to a woman who knows me well. She agreed with me that the concerns of my friend's wife were unfounded... at first. Then, she abruptly began interrogating me about the party. She tried to be nice about it, but her curiosity was too much. I laughed a bit, because I realized she had the same concerns. She was actually concerned about what we were doing at the party. I was a bit surprised.
I suppose my question is this: Ladies, how much do you REALLY worry about bachelor parties? And if you have concerns, why are you fooling with a guy like that in the first place?
Perhaps it’s fear of the unknown, but generally, a bachelor party is only a reflection of the guys there. If your man is shady, then he’ll most likely be shady during the party, after the party, and after you break up too. If your man isn’t, then the chances are heavily in his favor that he won't become a shady dude. But hey, nothing is guaranteed, and I can’t speak for what ALL men do.
But now that I think about it… I’ve never been to a bachelorette party. What’s goes on at those things??? Maybe I should find out.
Time to break out the trench-coat and funny glasses.
Peace and Love,