The frist and the most I want to thank everybody for being patient with this blog. I have being going thru a pesonal reality check. Dude, reality checks suck & make me feel sick. Needless to say if i collected my tears for a couple of weeks I could make another ocean in the earth :)

Anyhow, Hothouse (31 E Balbo, for the ones who live in Chi town) was popping & I found myself in the middle of it. I was attending a poetry slam called “She speaks Volumes”. Reminding you that my all time favorite, love of my life Staceyann Chin was performing too. I would go to the hell to hear her. Actually I went to work an hour early today so I can be at the event on time. It was my first time seeing her since I left NYC.

She gave me a couple ideas:

Why mentally/physically abuse so common?

  1. Why do not we learn how to see thru after all those experiences we have in life?

After the show I hopped on Red Line then Green line. While I was on train I jotted down my own reasons ...!!!!!!????????

I might not know all of them but I came up some of them

  1. We let others victimize us: We gave them rights
    o Unless we decide not to give others rights we will be victimized no matter what
  2. Most of us are not good valuing ourselves
    o Underestimating or Overestimating
  3. Giving benefit of doubt to every body
    o Especially to those we know for a fact will abuse it
  4. Not looking at bad relationships/ experiences in contractive ways
    o What your ex said about you. Think about some of them. There is truth somewhere.
  5. Afraid to be judged
    o Most of the time we are not as afraid as of being judged than hearing the things about ourselves we know deep down in our heart what is right
  6. Fooling ourselves thinking we can love unconditionally
    o Opposite sex or anybody we sexually attracted to
  7. Settling down for scarifies not satisfaction
    o Society BS that we were fed all out lifes. There are norms but no standard formula
  8. Trying to heal loneness with warmth of somebody instead of mentally getting read of causes of it
  9. Giving to much power to the people whom we are/were/ will be sexually involved
    o I am neither a feminist nor a sexist, but everybody need to learn to say "It was nice while it lasted"
  10. Denying to do reality check from time to time or denying result of reality checks
    · Letting negatives impact positives without knowing it
    · Not having a back up plan when it comes love relationships. As horrible as it sounds it is reality
  11. Options are good in every aspect of life. It does not mean one is going to use it, but having it becomes handy. Nothing is beautiful than knowing somebody has an option but “U are the person who was chosen”
    o WARNING: I do not mean sleeping around here J
    o When have you set down last time and wrote down what is the last and the most thing you want to change about yourself
    o Asked friends to tell you what they hate about u.