Your love is confusing and promising. What a confusion to have!!! Your love made me realize how much I am aware of my unawareness. I want to believe there is a room for me in your life without your permission. I am aware that without your permission all my dreams are obscure. Why am I attached your none-existing love? Maybe it is my fault!? Not at all! It is your fault because you keep sending mix massages on my way when I am ready to move on. You make me wonder if all these messages are tips of iceberg or your way of not letting me go. Maybe you know I am too good to let go. Maybe.. Who knows?
You know what? When I think this relationship I think of ocean and river. You are a greedy ocean taking water from the river without a promise to return it to its origin. I cannot be a river for you anymore. Un-return love drains my heart and my soul, while it is nourishing you.
You know what your none-existing love taught me? Your none-existing love helped me define what the love is. Before you, I would probably not be able to define the love. Now I know. Love is ability to realize the person is imperfect and has shortcomings, but we still love the person the same way as if you are not aware of at all.
You know what else I learned from loving you? I realized my love is as dense as autumn fog. It can disappear matter of minutes slowly but surely. Before you know it will be gone. Since I deeply care, my minutes can take longer than days, months, and even couple years. I know I can get over it because all these are not new to me.