8.27.2005




LOVE- COMPLICATED ? OH .. NO , YES.. I DO NOT KNOW.. U KNOW?

Since I am traveling I am going to keep this post short. I was not expecting to write about this topic but Theresa, one of my blog readers, sparked my mind. That spark caused a hurricane in my mind. I am not even exaggerating. I just realized love is also not a feeling. Love is reflection of other feelings. Unfortunately most of us do not recognize it. Just let’s think how many times we told people we love them. Do you know why some of us love our moms more than others? Do you know why we love one friend of ours more than others? Do you know why we love out partners or boyfriends/girlfriends? Why do love some thing in our life , for example car, beautiful vase , bookshelf and etc.. ?

It does not matter what is the answer to the questions. Now, the answer can not be I just love them. If your answer is just because I love them then you did not think deep enough. We love people because they protect us (mothers), they were there when we failed or succeeded (friends), they touched our life such a way it rejuvenated our existence (partners or boyfriends). We love things cars, beautiful vase or bookshelf because they have sentimental feelings attached to it. For instance I start loving my car when it helped me escape an ugly car accident without no harm to me. Oh boy, I love my car. If you catch me kissing my car after washing it do not get surprised. I do it secretly, you know how it goes: checking around so nobody sees me.

I believe most of us have clear idea why we love things and people around us but we are confused why we love out partners or boyfriends and girlfriends. When it comes to loving boyfriends or girlfriends a lot of people do not know what they love. We like one thing about the person then make conclusion that we are in love. Once we make out mind up to love somebody we hope the things we do not like about the person is going to change. Good luck with that.

After forcing myself thinking about love the way I describe it, I realized I was in love once. For example the person I loved has something about him made me fall for him. I loved the way he dealt and managed his life. I loved the passion he had for life. I loved he looked and touched my heart. But I did not like the way he treated me in public especially around the people he knew. We had different views about life. I was not happy but I was in love. Hmm, sounds odd. If I was not happy then why was I in love? Love is not meant to bring sadness in our life. Love is a choice and it is not a feeling. Love is combination of feelings that we feel about the person. I guess when we love, we weight the bad and good about the person. Nobody is as perfect as we want them to be. Just we need to do our trade offs. Once we become aware what we love (most of us really never realize what we love about the other person) we make a choice. We make a choice to choose love that makes us unhappy or happy. Keep in mind love is reflection of the other feelings. If our feelings about the person are such - s/he does not treat me right, s/he is not returning my phone calls on time or not at all, s/he does respect me enough. Believe me we going to love the person the way it will reflect those feelings. Can you remember you loved the person but kept telling everybody s/he does not understand me? Or you ask the person why do not you do such and such and the person gets irritated? Can you see the pattern?

With love,

Nothegame
To be continued… I will be writing about unconditional love...

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