2005 chapter is closed. For me it was a weird year with lots of personal and professional struggle. Have you ever asked yourself if you had to go thru these struggles? I might be wrong, but struggles all those years made me a better person in terms of teaching me how much crap I can take in a given day or from anybody. Without any effort you will be able to see struggle in all walks of life.
The biggest struggle is carried in the highest point of human body or in the middle of chest. I always wonder if the highest point in human body leads to troubles then why would anybody blame a little carry in the lower middle?
I am grateful for not being wounded in love the department as much as I used to, compared to previous years. I guess I am on my pick of my self-realizations. I learned more about myself past year. I also finally found how I related to other people.
We all have heard “Connecting with people is so hard” Bla bla bla. Not really. We connect with people very easily. If you told me “Connection I am looking for is hard, I am not able to connect the person I want to connect, I am not able to connect such and such to the level s/he wants” then that would be totally different story.
Yeah… We all seek the connection we want to build. Connectivity with other people also has a certain degree. We want certain connection to be stronger than other. I think we all have our own stake when we connect. Some of us are willing to give up more than others to connect with somebody. Occasionally people give up a bit in the first stage of connection but it gets bigger and bigger as time progress. That is when troubles start.
I am not against giving up something in order to gain. Even there are some sayings -- in any given relationship one person loves more than other or one person is more nurturer than other. I used to believe and accept that mentality. I still will allow myself to understand that mentality to a certain degree but in any given relationship people have to be willing to adopt some changes. Changes should lead to a balanced relationship not to a totally different personality. Willingness to change to a certain degree is the sign for a balanced relationship where involved individuals will not burn out because of constant given but not receiving. If person is not willing to change then you are hitting your head to a hard stone. Most relationships are doomed because they are imbalanced. Balanced strictly means 50/50 not 51/49 ratios. If that is what you thought it should be then it is time for you scrap that crap out of your mind completely. It ought to be 50/50 forget all about 80/20 relationships we all had.
In case if you wonder 80/20 relationships look back to your last dysfunctional relationship. Do you see a picture of yourself miserable? Were not you hoping that person was going to change as time progress? Where is he? Where is she? So if you or somebody you know in those types of relationship remember life is built on balance anything imbalanced will collapse.
The question is how much should I give up? My unit of measurement is very simple. If anybody has to give up all of who s/he is as an individual to be part of somebody, the price is too high. I have always advocated and recommended to walk out of any imbalanced relationships.
The biggest struggle is carried in the highest point of human body or in the middle of chest. I always wonder if the highest point in human body leads to troubles then why would anybody blame a little carry in the lower middle?
I am grateful for not being wounded in love the department as much as I used to, compared to previous years. I guess I am on my pick of my self-realizations. I learned more about myself past year. I also finally found how I related to other people.
We all have heard “Connecting with people is so hard” Bla bla bla. Not really. We connect with people very easily. If you told me “Connection I am looking for is hard, I am not able to connect the person I want to connect, I am not able to connect such and such to the level s/he wants” then that would be totally different story.
Yeah… We all seek the connection we want to build. Connectivity with other people also has a certain degree. We want certain connection to be stronger than other. I think we all have our own stake when we connect. Some of us are willing to give up more than others to connect with somebody. Occasionally people give up a bit in the first stage of connection but it gets bigger and bigger as time progress. That is when troubles start.
I am not against giving up something in order to gain. Even there are some sayings -- in any given relationship one person loves more than other or one person is more nurturer than other. I used to believe and accept that mentality. I still will allow myself to understand that mentality to a certain degree but in any given relationship people have to be willing to adopt some changes. Changes should lead to a balanced relationship not to a totally different personality. Willingness to change to a certain degree is the sign for a balanced relationship where involved individuals will not burn out because of constant given but not receiving. If person is not willing to change then you are hitting your head to a hard stone. Most relationships are doomed because they are imbalanced. Balanced strictly means 50/50 not 51/49 ratios. If that is what you thought it should be then it is time for you scrap that crap out of your mind completely. It ought to be 50/50 forget all about 80/20 relationships we all had.
In case if you wonder 80/20 relationships look back to your last dysfunctional relationship. Do you see a picture of yourself miserable? Were not you hoping that person was going to change as time progress? Where is he? Where is she? So if you or somebody you know in those types of relationship remember life is built on balance anything imbalanced will collapse.
The question is how much should I give up? My unit of measurement is very simple. If anybody has to give up all of who s/he is as an individual to be part of somebody, the price is too high. I have always advocated and recommended to walk out of any imbalanced relationships.
What is your type of measurement?
With love,
No_the_Game.
6 comments:
Your crowning achievements are obtained by you. Your greatest success is obtained by you. Your worst failures are created by you. You are your achievements and failures. This is true in relationships, and in all facets of life.
If you can not conquer yourself, you can not conquer others. If you can not live up to your wants/needs/dreams, you are to blame for that. Not someone else.
Funny that people forget this.
I think everyone has a past that totally creates the person they are 'today'. Never regret your past and never long for the 'good ol' days'. I actually wrote that in my post for today.
We all have experienced those dysfunctional relatinships- the ones with the turmoil and choas. It definitely makes us reflect, but if we can reflect upon the positive things, and get past whatever it is we went through, we can heal faster. On top of that- we need to forgive and forget---and DON'T forget to forgive yourself------for whatever it is you faulted yourself for. I know I used to do that all the time. I looked back with resentment and blame for myself as well as my ex.
We go through certain things for a reason and we just need to keep focused on the present time---and enjoying the journey.
This was such an amazing post, and I wish you a better, and happier New Year!
Hello. I came in through Rose's blog. I like your blog and I connected with this passage more than most. People who know me can tell you that my entire life was full of negativity until I realized that the things that don't kill me made me stronger. I am now on the forever journey of being positive about everything I do. I have seen it pay off. I am happier then I have ever been and successful. I know for a fact being positive works so I try to spread those vibes whenever I can. You are definitely right, dealing with crap and a lot of struggles is what makes us stronger. I've had more of my share, LOL. Lovely blog. Happy 2006!
No to be too smutty, but I'd wager that the problem with most humans isn't in the middle of the chest, but somewhere to the south of that. Certainly, that's where a lot of dating problems seem to originate.
:-), StS
I measure whether that person will respect me and let me be me. If someone wants to hinder me in anyway that 's not good for me. By the way if we didn't have dysfunctional relationships how would we know when a good one came along?
NTG: Connectivity with one's self may also clear up why it is difficult to connect with the person you want to connect with. Sometimes, we want to be somebody else. And that somebody else has a 'perfect' match. When, in reality, if we take a good look at who we are and what we really want the ball game changes.
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