Concentrating on wrong issues or not being able spot the issue is a problem all facets of life. It becomes even more problematic when it involves two people. I truly believe people fall in love more than they understand the responsibilities or issues love brings.
One & the most disappointing issue is most of us do not know the difference of love and last. Sometimes I wonder if I had more last than love. Anyhow, the topic of this post is to shed light on how assessment of personality types and traits can make us to be happy people.
Although many of us know we have issues in our relationship(s), most of us are not able to pin point it. I firmly believe one cannot overcome, solve, resolve a problem if the root of the problem is unknown. Issues can be generated one’s ignorance, unwillingness to cooporate, accommodate each others needs, willingness to listen, share and etc. There are too many things; I truly cannot list all of them. Named issues are more traditional sense but modernization also brought new material issues such as having fancy lifestyle, expensive gifts, vacations & time to spend with each other, etc.
Most people renounce love when it comes to material things. I agree love should be pure and innocent but I also know the reality. You can be truly in love but when it comes to put food on the table it does not help that much. I am not into gold digging; however knowing the reality becomes handy from time to time. Most people enter relationship with illusion(s): Love is enough & that is it.
There are a few people who will accept a minimum financial freedom. They are also some people how will not settle less than what they want. The good thing about both personalities is that both personalities know who they are. Knowing yourself, situation, awareness of issues can eliminate troubles later on. If you know and understand yourself, then you have the blessing of happiness.
For example, my sister dated her soon to be ex-husband over 8 years before they got married. Now she asks herself what went wrong. Even still today she is not able to answer but I knew it from the beginning. She did not assess herself, did not know things about herself. I knew she wants somebody to be there for her for everything. She liked to be pampered all the time. She wanted somebody to provide and be attentive for her child, while she raises her baby. The guy she dated was everything but the person she wanted him to be. He is from a famous musician family who are known making music of their priority. Now he is one of the best & well known a music producer and works long hours. I am sure at a time my sister loved the attention she got becuase he was famous. That factor did not help them when they got married though. Now a year and half later baby boy in her arm, my sister getting divorced & feels scared.
Recommendations:
- Before assessing him/her ASSESS yourself
- Assess YOUR needs then his/hers
- Know what is your expectations (go out and hang out every weekend, dine in fancy restaurants, attend all musicals in your town, not to be bothered every day, receive good morning , afternoon, evening calls or opposite etc)
- After knowing a bit yourself assess him/her (If you think the person you love does not take responsibility for his action and do not understand his responsibility you truly need to asses it. It can cause a lot of troubles down the road.
- One more thing to keep in mined the person you love can be the BEST person in the world but cannot be what YOU WANT
Thanks for reading my scattered views this time,
No_the_Game
6 comments:
I totally agree with you. It is sometimes hard to accept that love is never enough. You can love someone but that person doesn't fit your personality or unconscious criteria. It's like buying a pair a shoes a size smaller or a size larger just because they look good.
Love can be so materialistic and it's always useful to recognize our needs before trying to fulfill them.
it wasn't that scattered, you made good points. It is important to know and love yourself, and not depend on someone else for your happiness....its not even so much as what if they leave, just think what if they pass away? you still need to be able to live with yourself.
(oh, I saw your post on "e"s blog, quiche is pronounced keesh. lol
great post.
we all need to find solace (soulace).
To know thyself is to love yourself. How can you share love when you don't know who you are? Relationships to me work because of things in common, goals, desires, religion, parenting issues, etc.
I related to this post a lot. I lost the love of my life because my parents pressured me into finding someone ‘who had money’ or was on the same level as me. I fell in love with someone who was less fortunate—someone who worked, but wasn’t ‘suitable’ in my parents’ eyes.
I have resented this a great deal, because I had to give her up. I had to go with what my family thought was suitable, because I didn’t want the hassle of fighting with them. I now regret it, but we are still friends till this day.
I would suggest everyone watch the movie, “The Notebook”. This is exactly what it’s about. Love beyond the means of making it work out financially. True love---without the safety of being comforted by materialistic things.
This is one of your best posts! Thank you. I needed to read this.
i dunno how to comment this beside WOW!!!!! what a GREAT post!!!
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