10.01.2005


WHAT ARE YOU MINING FOR?

On January 24th, 1848, James Marshall and his men were building a saw mill in Coloma, California, but they also found something else while they were there: GOLD.

By 1849, the next year, the California Gold Rush had become a craze, with people flocking to the rural Western territory, by the thousands, in hopes of finding what they WANT. The newcomers were aptly named the “49ers.” Thousands flocked to California with hopes of finding their GOLD.

Today, Marshall’s find is so much a part of the history of America, and California, that San Francisco even named its professional football team the 49ers.

How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?

Well… my father called me the other day and we had a really long conversation. I love him dearly. I don’t think I could ever quantify the value of the guidance he has given me in my professional and daily life. It’s been an asset to have someone who gives advice, not only out of love, but also out of wisdom. It’s a tough act to follow. But he also lets me know that the choices that made him the man he is today sometimes came from the lessons learned by the foolish young man he once was.

During the conversation, my father asked me: “Son… you found yourself a little girl out there in Chicago yet?” I skirted around the question a bit, not really wanting to get into the topic. Usually, our recent conversations have been more serious, so it seemed a bit out of the blue. But finally, I answered him: “Naw dad… I suppose I’m not really in the mood to meet someone serious.” So he answered me: “Son… I understand. But you can’t take yourself out of the game.” And we laughed a bit about men, women and dating in general. Then he finally said to me: “Son… remember, I understand how tough it is to find a good woman. But keep one thing in mind…

YOU CAN’T FIND GOLD IN A SILVER MINE.”

So… how does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?

After I was done laughing, when I got off the phone I started thinking about the common-sense wisdom and meaning in those words.

His words left me with a more important question I have for myself: Do I know GOLD when I see it?

When I think of the unsuccessful relationships in my life, and those that I have witnessed from the sidelines, I often wonder why we sometimes greatly miscalculated the mettle of our mates.

Sometimes it seems so easy to see the fool in others. But what about the fool in ourselves that can emerge when we're dealing with matters of the heart? I'm sure many of us have asked: “Why the hell is my friend fooling with that woman/man?” I’m sure we’ve all seen a few of those train-wrecks masked as relationships before. And I’m sure some of us have been through one or two ourselves.

I suppose I’m wondering more and more if I’ve been hoping to find GOLD in a saw mill. I suppose it's possible to find GOLD in a saw mill, James Marshall did. But how often does THAT happen? And then again, Mr. Marshall wasn't actually looking for GOLD when he found it, he just knew how to recognize it.

Peace and Love,

nosthegametoo

10 comments:

Theresa said...

What you've said is so true. My sister used to criticise me for the men I dated in my 20's. I used to laugh because I never intended to settle down with them. They were just people I enjoyed for a while because they were unique and exciting. I had some great adventures, made some mistakes, and even had my heart broken a few times. When I finally did get married, I chose a good man who was well-matched for me at the time. Ironically, my sister married the second guy she ever dated. He's an absolute horror of a human being. I feel bad for her. She doesn't believe there's anything better for her out there.

Sometimes you can't know what you want until you know what you don't want.

o.flory said...

I read once a scientific article about how the brain reacts when we are in love..so the scientists discovered that the chemical responses of the body when being "in love" are the same like when using drogs..
There are some chemical substances called endorphins which are normal reactions of the body when is in a state of pleasure..
The state of being "in love" was compared with the state of drog use..were detected the same reactions of the body,and of course the presence of endorphins..

Conclusion..it's all about chemistry..love reduced at a simple chemical reaction..

It's obvious that a relationship involves more..
But this may explain why we make so many mistakes when "in love",we can't see the real person,we see only a projection of our mind,we are overwhelmed by the endorphins,the mind is in blur..
I wonder..when in my life I was in love, was there only a chemical reaction that made me confuse the reality with the projections of my mind?..
So how can we make the difference between gold and an ordinary metal if our mind is in blur with all those endorphins around?..
Well, after a while the effect disappears, and we remain with the reality: gold or an ordinary metal..

nosthegametoo said...

@ theresa:

You’re right Theresa. Sometimes it takes experience to recognize the gold in your life. I’m finally understanding that I’ve been in a few saw mills before, looking and thinking I was going to find pure gold. At least I know the difference between saw dust and gold dust now.

@ amber7dragonfly:

I think that as we get older and get more experienced with finding and dealing with potential mates, or even people we’re just dating, we get a better idea of how our endorphins/emotions affect our behavior. Well… if we learn from our mistakes we do.

Bougie Black Boy said...

i see you changed your pics.... hmmm... trying to be sultry?

Rose said...

Great post! Made me think about past relationships which took me back a while...I guess you will know by experience. I wasn't looking but I knew that he was different than the guy I dated before and that was alright with me.Experience is the best teacher///

Clay said...

i never know those things about 1848 ... good tie in w. relationships.

nosthegametoo said...

@ Stephen:

Always glad to see when you’ve stopped by.

@ Rose:

Thanks Rose. There’s no substitution for experience. I think we just need to make sure that our experiences teach us something. Otherwise, they’re useless.

@ Cane:

Thanks for stopping by. Pops has a lot of wisdom. And the Gold Rush seemed like an appropriate analogy.

brooklyn babe said...

To further add "dust" to your saw mill, all that glitters aint "gold." I have been a silver wearer myself.... time to claim my inheritance.... Nice Piece! Peace.

E said...

I do like the analogy as well. A lot of the gold out there is fool's gold. There's definitely a need to look deeper in the surface. Maybe that rusty nail could be gold in disguise. Nice post.

nosthegametoo said...

@ brooklyn babe:

Thanks for the extra “dust.” But I have plenty already. LOL. I’m not too into silver these days. I’m learning more and more about precious mettles and how to recognize the ones that are extremely valuable.

@ E:

Patience with ourselves, time and experience help us to tell the difference. Personally, I’ve found that there are certain characteristics that just aren’t compatible with me, or what I do. When that’s the case, I’ve found that it’s usually “fool’s gold” to me. But hey, that just might be precious to someone else.