WALKING AWAY FROM LOVE
My favorite male vocalist of all-time is David Ruffin. Although his name may not be that familiar, I’m sure almost everyone in America knows the sound of his voice. Mr. Ruffin was the lead vocalist for The Temptations during their classic line-up. You know his voice from songs such as: “My Girl,” “I Wish it Would Rain,” and “Ain’t too Proud to Beg.” The man was a marvelous talent, and a true “Soul Singer,” in the most accurate since of the word. His tragic death in June of 1991 was certainly a loss to the world of music.
David Ruffin’s vocals tell stories that my words can’t begin to express. For instance, even with corny lyrics penned by Smokey Robinson, he somehow conveys genuine heartfelt emotion on “My Girl.” I don't find that in the popular music on the radio today.
This morning, I woke up and I turned on “Walk Away From Love,” a soulful dance single with a disco flavor, which was a moderate hit on the Pop and R&B charts in 1975. I suppose it’s because I was feeling his words after a long conversation I had with someone last night.
This morning, these were the words Mr. Ruffin sang more eloquently than I can express:
It's not that I don't love you
You know how much I do
And it's not that I've found someone
To take the place of you
It's just the fear that lives within me
Everytime you touch my hand
And a dread that shakes my body
That even I don't understand
So I'm leaving
This time I'm playin' it smart
I'm gonna walk away from love
Before love breaks my heart
How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstanding of each other?
Well… perhaps an easily misunderstood letter I considered putting in the mail this morning will tell the tale.
Dear “You,”
They say that forgiveness is divine. I suppose I’m lacking in my divinity these days. I have an unmistakable urge to hate you. But I’m not a hateful man, so I can’t. I have an unmistakable urge to love you. But my heart is cynical, so I can’t. Sometimes I wonder if I feel both at the same time. Which one is stronger?
I want you to hurt when I hurt so I’m not alone. But your pain brings tears to my eyes, so I wish you none; I wish you peace and love. I’ve given you the softest part of me, and that is something that doesn’t come with ease. Do you really think that I consider you a… ? I could never have laid down beside you if that was truly in my heart.
I’ve held your hand as tight as I could. Did I hold it too tight? I know that my grasp has to weaken. I know you have to choose freely. Letting go of a special hand hurts like hell. We’ve both done it before. But I don’t question your judgment. And I do wish you the best.
You met me when my trust was shaken, but I still had faith in you. Faith, trust and hope all have different meanings. My trust hasn’t healed, and my faith has been shaken, but I desperately hoped to be your fool. It may not be enough, but you should know that I still love you.
You're in my heart and mind,
“nosthegametoo”
Peace and Love
16 comments:
i didnt know his name, but i knew who he was thru the Tempations - thanks for turning me on to him!
OMG, I love the Temptations. That was some great singing. I still play their tunes today. Yes I remember David well. Those were some beautiful yet deep words you wrote...
Dear Co_Blogie,
I felt an urge to respond to your posting. I generally do not respond your postings because you r a writer and have all the rights to write what you want or express yourself. I thought my friendly intention will not offend you. The bellow are just comments.
I really think whoever this letter addressed is the luckiest girl. I hope she knows it. But some comments. Hate is not a feeling that can mingle with love. They do not gel. If you confused to love or not to love it is best when you give yourself a room. Try concentrate on other things in life. After all you deserve the best because I know you. My grandma used to say "Love is like a dove. U have to set it free. If it is yours it will come back to you.
It is beautiful. The girl you talk about is very lucky because her pain is shared. It is rear to meet somebody who really care and love others than themselves. That is the sign of inner connectedness between 2 person.
I do not know what u meant when you said “ consider you a ...” I know this, a lot of people in the world lay down beside a person they can not think of anything or horrible things. I am so sorry that I know this fact. What a shame I know it through my life experiences. What a realization and hurtful one!!! But things that did not kill me made me stronger.
When it comes sharing your pain you do not need to make a person feel miserable. There is other way of expressing your concerns that causes you a pain.
You are wondering if you tried to hold on person tied enough or gave too much of yourself. Do not worry about those stuff because you or anybody do not have any control over others. You can only be you and it is always good to be you. You do not need to give your self and be helpless romantic but you the girl you are with. Maybe you should look it on her prospective try to understand why she is acting the way she is. From your writing I think she is not acting the way you want her to act. After trying to find out what is motivation or reasons behind her behavior you can decide if you can deal with it or you have let it go.
Sometimes we r so concentrated what we want from relationship we forget to see what other ppl need. Maybe the gal you talking about has her needs or responsibilities I do not know. U know better... I do not know. It would be hard to predict.
For example, I have great deal of responsibilities and obligations. Whoever is involved with me for serious should be able to handle it in next 7-10 years. I hope after that I will be more free and happy. Now maybe that is why I cannot get a boy friend. :( Sometimes we have price to pay.
Once thing is essential in all relationship, I have mentioned it on my previous posts as well, do not enter in no relationship with hope the other person is going to fix your personal, financial, emotional problems. Most people get in relationship with hope that other person is going to fix what we miss in ourselves. Perfectly, wrong example to start relationships U have to strength your trust, hope and faith in people before you enter any relationship.
I have been hurt and I lost my trust in people when it comes to relationship. Since then I never plan my life based on my relationship with any man.
I have left my job in UN and moved out of the States to be with somebody who choose other woman over me. When I left my job I was on the pick of the best career I could have ever been. It has been 5 years since he is gone I cannot still get my life on track. Since then I do not include nobody, absolutely nobody in my personal or professional plan. I do not trust people. That is why I am not in no relationship for real.
The point telling you this story is you need to build your own trust, hope and faith in people before you enter in any relationship. It might take years to build but you need to do it your own.
I have not build my trust in people yet.
@ themackman:
Yeah... it's definately a paradox. Tough to reconcile the contradiction.
@ cane:
David Ruffin had an amazing talent. If it weren't for his personal problems, he would probably be more of a household name.
@ rose:
Thank you rose. And I love the Temptations too. I still listen to them, and of course David Ruffin, all the time.
@ No_the_game:
Thank you for the comment, you know I appreciate it.
It's difficult to learn how fragile trust is. Before it's broken, it's easy to take it for granted. After trust has been diminished, keeping it alive is like caring for the sick. Sometimes it pulls through, and sometimes not.
I feel you on the serious relationship thing. A lack of trust and faith is keeping me away from making a serious commitment to anyone, and probably a whole lot of other things too.
I remember David Ruffin...he was a very good vocalist...Did you know that Whitney was going to cover his song "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" for The Bodyguard soundtrack instead of "I Will Always Love You"? There's a little trivia for you.
Faith...Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
Trust...Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
Make no mistake, you are only what you allow yourself to be. you are not what someone else thinks of you and you are not what someone else wans you to be. You are only you. You can only be exactly what you want to be.
So far, what I've gathered is that everyone gets hurt by other people and they "still haven't gotten it together". Why is that? Are you concentrating so much on the pain that -might- come, that -might- screw up your whole universe. If your'e too busy looking ahead you can't see what's in front of you. If you're too busy looking back you can't see where you're going.
People fall so they can get back up again. If you're bitter or distrustful because of something that happened to you, you're not really getting back up....you're just crawling around looking for your way. similar to the pig which can see the sky before him but not the sky above him, as he isn't capable of looking upward.
Getting up means walking forward taking the steps onward. You can't avoid pain, not in good conscience. You can only understand it and move forward. All the quotes I've seen people use such as not walking backward and what not. Well you can't walk in one place either. That's not walking it's just stamping your feet.
I understand the pain of the heart just like anyone else. I've suffered heartbreak and I've picked myself up and moved on. That's what you do in life, you don't cautiously peek around the corner before you go. You boldly make your way...and if you get hurt, you keep making your way. You _will_ eventually find peace of mind and stillness of heart. I promise.
My nieces watch the Temptations movie all the time. Now when I say all the time, I mean four times a week. They love David Ruffin (actually they love Leon who played David Ruffin) and the also love Eddie too. I guess I never looked at David Ruffin as an individual artist, although I am quite aware of his solo recordings. I will definitely have to inquire more about his music.
Actually I do remember hearing David Ruffin's name years back in relation to the Temptations.
I liked that letter you composed. Vulnerable yet unwavering.
Aw. Makes me wanna give you a big hug. That was a beautiful letter. And it reminded me of this lyric from the Jackson 5:
My beautiful bird, you have flown away.
I held you too tight, I can see.
You're all I need to get by.
No one else can make me cry
the way you do, baby.
That is my all time fave J5 song.
I have been out of that state for so long, but you brought it back for me. Nice post.
"It's just the fear that lives within me
Everytime you touch my hand"
That sent chill up my spine.
I'm sorry to comment so late. I've been having trouble getting your blog to open on my ancient computer.
Your letter is touching. Thank you for sharing it with us. I believe you'll find your way to Love and trust again. You haven't given up hope. Someone with your richness, sensitivity and depth has a lifelong purpose in Love.
wow what a powerful letter.
beautiful and emotional.
I hope you find the girl you're looking for and that when you do she realizes how lucky she is.
@ professorGQ:
Actually, I had no idea that Whitney was going to cover “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted.” But, that song was made a hit by his brother, Jimmy Ruffin. Thanks for the trivia though.
@ prata:
You always have a fresh a logical perspective. I appreciate that you give these postings some thought. I always give your comments more than one read.
@ Georgiapeach:
I thought they did a good job on the television adaptation of their story. Although, I wonder about the accuracy. The story was really told from the perspective of one of the less gifted members of the group. When I watch the movie and think about all the roomers I’ve heard surrounding the personal and public lives of each member, and the internal conflicts of the group, I wonder if Otis is exaggerating his importance.
@ storm:
Singing at that level is a rare talent. They say, “if you can talk, you can sing,” which I think is true. But, you just don’t find that level of talent everyday. He had a beautiful voice.
@ e:
Always tough to write a letter like that. It’s even tougher to put it in the mail. There’s a lot in that letter that could easily be misunderstood, and I know it. It’s probably for the best I didn’t.
@ goddess:
Thanks for being part of this corner of the blog-world. And I would accept your hug with great enthusiasm and a smile. Much Love to you as always.
@ The_goddess_you_hate_to_Love:
Thank you very much. I know that there are a whole lot of people that can identify with how I felt when I wrote that. Who knows if did/does/might she appreciated me. It’s a hard fact of life to come to realize that sometimes our hearts are not returned to us with the same zeal with which we give them away.
@ lady_in_satin:
Thank you. But it wasn’t too easy to write. Nice to see you around… as always.
@ MizJJ:
Glad that you’ve come back to us. Don’t be a stranger.
@ brownsoul:
I couldn’t agree more! I’m glad Mr. Ruffin always knows how to tell it. It’s a comfort to me.
@ Theresa:
Glad to see that you’ve returned to us. And no, I haven’t completely given up. I suppose I can say that I’m on a hiatus for a bit. But rebuilding anything takes time. It’s much easier to destroy than to rebuild… as you know.
@ ‘liya:
Thank you for the wonderful compliment. It takes time to find what you’re looking for in life. I have decided to take my time and go slower so I can avoid obvious and foreseeable bumps in the road that I should be aware of. No sense in forgetting the landscape of roads we’ve traveled before.
@ EVERYONE:
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR KIND WORDS. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!
LOL sorry all i could think about after reading that post was the Temptations movie when David Ruffin just went off about how he was the temptations
Also his song "Never change" is my ish. Jay-Z sampled it...
Love David Ruffin, of course. The Temptations are just too good for my words.
BUT
Your letter. WOW. It was so powerful. And, I'll share my favorite part, because I KNOW that feeling.
"I want you to hurt when I hurt so I’m not alone. But your pain brings tears to my eyes, so I wish you none; I wish you peace and love."
I wish you peace...and my .02 - hate takes up too much space in your heart. Let it go. I know easier said than done, but true!
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