I’ve been told, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I think there may be something to that. Most of the time, at least in my experience, after a relationship matures, it’s easy to be complacent. Taking the people around us for granted can be so natural as we settle into ourselves and edge toward selfishness.
Sometimes it’s enough to want to throw in the towel on the whole thing. But then again, who doesn’t love that feeling of knowing your partner, friend or loved one is coming home, or better yet, coming just to see you. It’s enough to make even love cynics smile, even if only for a minute. There’s nothing like that first kiss, hug, or smile after some you care about has been gone. Isn’t it great?
SO WHY DO THEY DRIVE US CRAZY WHEN THEY’RE AROUND???
How does this pertain to men and women's misunderstandings of each other?
Well… sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Personally, I’d rather not go through a devastating lost to know that I have people in my life worth valuing, but hey, some people don’t know stoves are hott.
It’s the little things in life that makes the world go ‘round. And it’s the little things that can make and break a relationship… or so it seems.
But I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. When you’re fighting with your mate about leaving the towel on the bathroom floor, or setting their purse on the kitchen table, it’s not really about those little things. There are other things bubbling up that have been left unresolved. Those real issues are what you’re really fighting about; they are just manifesting themselves at different times.
It’s the little things we focus on, because it’s the little things that affect us at the moment. Though it’s important to remember that the moment ends, and as time goes on, those little things don’t seem so important. When we think back to the terrible things we say and do to each other, they don’t seem so important when you find out your mate is sick, hurting, dying or in need comfort.
So, I try not to forget that time together is essential to learning how to communicate effectively. I’ve seen one too many person (myself included) jump into a situation they didn’t understand because they lacked the ability to communicate what they NEEDED and even wanted.
Ultimately though, there’s nothing wrong with a little time apart. As some guy in a movie said: “I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you walk away.”
Peace and Love,
nosthegametoo
10 comments:
Wow!
Well said. There is no bigger mistake in a relationship than to take your mate for granted. I certainly know from personal experience (mistakes) that it's so easy to forget how special that someone seemed at first. Why does that special feeling seem to go away? It's probably because we get a little lazy and complacent, and we forget what we had (have?).
In a way, this post brings me back to one of your other wonderful posts. That is the issue of fundamental core values. Perhaps here's another example of a useful core value - don't take anything for granted.
Remember that your mate is special, because he or she loves you and cares for you. I can't think of anything much more important than that in the world...
In your usual fashion, you’ve wisely discussed an extremely important aspect of intimate relationships. When we don’t feel valued and appreciated, it often shows in petty little ways. We don’t try as hard. We make less of an effort to in our day-to-day interactions. When this happens, it’s a slippery slope to even greater dissatisfaction and resentment.
On the other hand, is there anything sweeter than feeling genuinely cherished and appreciated by the person in your life who you love and respect the most? It makes you wonder doesn’t it? If we all want to feel that way, why don’t we take better care of it?
I agree with Theresa.
Smooches Princess! *waving*
Totally a men are from mars/women from venus type of writeup. Love it. Hope things are going well over there.
I believe we get comfortable and don't work as hard. Absence of the right one does make your heart grow fonder, just don't be gone too long.
When I was younger I wanted to be up under my mate. Now I respect space. I have my things and you have your things to do. That does not mean you love them less, it is about balance and having your own life. You can suffocate a relationship if you don't let each other breathe.
I think absence makes the heart grow fonder. Unfortunately the longer you are away and with the lack of communication that love will deminish.
Absence may make the heart grow fonder but if you're too gone too long, it may make the heart go wander.
This post definitely hits home as it is sooo easy to take those you love for granted. I wish I knew why..but this is a nice reminder for me to take the time and tell those people that mean so much to me how much I love them.
Happy Holidays to the No Game Team!
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It is really hard to explain...we do things that we wouldn't normally do, when in a relationship...
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