We all hear about the “Dating Game.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re suppose to play this and play that. We’re supposed to hedge our bets, because there are no guarantees in life, and you don’t wanna be left holding the bag. But tell me… when is the “Dating Game” not a game at all, and just a lie. Should those lies be forgiven?
Do you have to be in a commited relationship to tell the TRUTH? Isn't that a bit sick? Is it ok to be a LIAR (that's someone who tells things that aren't true, you know, someone who lies) because you don't "consider it formal"?
I just wonder why people lie to themselves and others by pretending that as long as you're not FORMALLY commited to a person it's ok for you to LIE and cheat them, and ultimately yourself.
How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?
Well… throughout my dating life, I’ve had some strange experiences. Maybe not any stranger than what everyone else goes through, but strange to me.
Sometimes, I have no idea why people do and say the things they do. For instance, if you are seeing someone and tell them that there is no one else in your life, and they tell you the same, is it “cheating” to have sex with someone(s) else because you don’t wanna give your relationship an “official” title? Is it worse if it's a one-night thing, or is it worse if they're having regluar sex with other people? Is it even worse if that person puts your health at risk (regardless if they care about their own), even after you've let them know that you take your own health serious?? How bout if they keep on doing it behind your back??
I wonder what people’s take on this is. I’m a bit confused. I don’t like semantic games or that whole “well… you never asked” crap. Telling your partner things that aren't true is called LYING, plain and simple. And if you do this, hate to break it to you, but you are a LIAR, you know, someone who lies. No, you're not a "Player", or someone who is "playing the game", you're just a LIAR.
I’m gonna have to give this some more thought, but my question to blogworld is this: Why is LYING a normal part of dating, and why do we tacitly and overtly encourage those around us (friends, buddies and such) to lie, though we call it a "game"?
If possible, please share some of the greatest, most shocking and most pathetic lies you've been told by a parter. Better yet, if possible, please include the LIES a partner "doesn't consider" LIES.
My favorite lie is when others pretend that their bullshit is a matter of unclear semantics, which according to them, you cannot hold them to, even if it's a blatant lie.
Damn, no wonder my father still asks me if I'm dating a "little lady" here in Chicago. Sorry Pops, your son was born under a bad sign. One of these days, I'm gonna find a LOYAL woman.
Oh well...
Peace and Love,
nosthegametoo
9 comments:
Lies are a way to protect a person from the pain of the truth. Lies are a way of saving face. Lies are many things, but they only serve to help one person: the liar.
I cannot tell you why people lie. I don't understand it and I cannot fanthom it. I am a person who tries to live in the truth. But that is a choose I have made. Perhaps the answer is that people have choices to make everyday, and they can choose to lie or tell the truth.
The worse lie I've heard: I know a guy who doesn't consider it cheating if he wears a condom because if there's a latex barrier, his penis isn't really touching the inside of another woman's vagina.
I'm sorry other people's lies have hurt you. You deserve better, and there are people out there who are worthy. Faith and hope ... faith and hope.
I believe lying is out of insecurity. The person doesn't want to lose this 'potential good catch', so they play the field to 'see what's out there' and settle with whoever works best for them. Is it selfish? Yes. Is it done out of being mean and spiteful? Probably not. It's that person's issue---not the person being lied to.
You can also look at it like this: It MAY mean that the person's character isn't the type you want for the long run...especially risking YOUR health by lying. It's not fair.
Very thought provoking!
People always lie in every day's life.
So same is in the dating game.
Why we lie...I think there are many reason for people doing that,I am not saying if is good or bad,a lie is a lie under any circumstamces.
But I think basically people lie because they must mantain the "mask" they wear in other's eyes, or even worse, some people delude themselves by lies.
When is about a relationship, lies are dangerous,cuz sooner or later they will affect the partner's life.
But this is the human nature: lies,truth,all mixed up in a confusing game.
Wrong or right,there is always the other side of story.
Interesting post as always.
Although it is true that people sometimes lie to protect others from harm, lies are never a way to save face.
People certainly don't lie because they can. That sort of idea comes from someone that expects people to lie to them. I may be considered naive in that regard, but I find people more often tell the truth when their attachments are not at stake.
when i was "dating" i didnt lie.. i let it be known that someone i was seeing wasnt the only person in my life.. no need to go into details, but i didnt need to lie about the situation neither.. if someone i was dating lied to me, i would cut them off b/c i dont have time for the BS..
people lie b/c they think they have to in order to get what they want, where a lot of times just being honest can get you a lot farther
I think folks lie in relationships to protect the person, themselves, and to continue to get what they want out of the relationships. They lie out of selfishness. Liars bothers me. There are no good reasons to lie, if you want out of the relationships, let go. If you stop loving the person, let go. If you just want to be friends, let go. If you just want a physical relationship at your convenience say so, but stop the lying.
nosthegametoo-
it is a shame that there are individuals out there who lie to get what they want. sadly, the term "integrity" is not taken into account in alot of relationships anymore. most of the comments here pretty much sums it all for me, but i want you to know that there still are some good people out there who don't play games when it comes to matters of the heart. i'm sorry you've been hurt.
j.
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