QUESTIONING THE FUNDAMENTALS

I’ve been told that the following quote is attributed to Sir Winston Churchill:

“If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without blood shed; if you will not fight when your victory is sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance of survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.”

There are very few political figures I admire. In fact, I’m not really sure I admire ANY political figure. But on the same note, I still think there are some notable men and women in the world who have made contributions to humanity that cannot be ignored. I think we look up to them because they fought to defend the most important fundamentals.

When I think of how often people’s views change as they grow older, I feel that it’s probably childish to think that having incompatible views automatically makes someone a worthless hypocrite. Ultimately, you can’t judge a man by the least of his actions. Though, you can’t ignore them either.

I suppose the art of judgment is a difficult one to practice. We probably spend our entire lives learning how to efficiently judge the world for ourselves; and especially in matter of the heart, it ain’t easy.

How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?

Well… In matters of the heart, it seems that people often hesitate when they can and should fight for what they want/need.

I can remember a girl I had a huge crush on when I was a teenager, but I was too nervous to ask her out. Honestly, I must have figured she wouldn’t have been interested, or maybe it was a fear of rejection. Either way, some years later, I found out that she liked me the whole time, but she thought I wasn’t the type to talk to her or be interested in her. Now, I hear she’s engaged and may be living here in Chicago. Ah well… although I can’t go on and on about her being “The One,” I never even had the chance to find out, all because I sat down, when I should have stood up.

That particular episode comes to mind because of a phone call I received from one of my best friends yesterday. We talked for a very long time. For the first time in his life, his heart was truly heavy from that all too frequently nasty four letter word: L.O.V.E.

My friend has spent most of his life deeply immersed in his culture and religion. Well, not THAT deep, but deep enough. It’s a part of him. It’s a large part. He was born here in the States, but spent some of his early years “Back Home,” and elsewhere abroad. But for the most part, his life has been here. Because of that, he often worried about losing that piece of his living culture he desperately wants to preserve.

Up until recently, he had a simple philosophy when it came to dating. He only entered into serious relationships with women he deemed culturally and religiously appropriate for him. But like I said, that was up until now. His current relationship, which began as a casual thing, has blossomed into full-blown love… and mutual love at that.

I haven’t met the girl yet, but she seems like good people. He’s already met her family and likes her father a lot. So obviously I’m happy that he is happy.

It’s something to see. We both always figured he’d marry a girl that was like one from “Back Home,” with a strong touch of Americanism. But that’s not what he found. What he found is a good woman who is nothing like the woman he imagined for himself. He broke his own cardinal rule to serious dating.

But what I find most interesting is how much he has changed. For the first time, he admitted that the whole Old School cultural protectionism thing that he was practicing might have a cost he isn’t willing to bare.

Do you give up a good woman because of cultural/religious differences? I’m not sure. These differences have varying levels of importance to everyone. If what you're compromising is one of your fundamentals, this can cause you a serious amount of trouble and heartache.

This is a tough one. I been there myself. Perhaps I need to do a post on the difficulties of deconstructing a once non-negotiable fundamental as a result of growing.

Peace and Love,

nosthegametoo