APPRECIATION:

MORE THAN WORDS?

I always try to look at Holiday seasons as an opportunity to make peace in my life, both with others, and myself. That’s one of the wonderful things about this time of year, these particular Religious holidays can put anyone in a reflective mood. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the many blessings God has brought to my life, and I’ve questioned whether or not I have been appreciative of them. Oh… I SAY that I am, but what do I do to SHOW that I appreciate the blessings in my life?

Words are cheap. It’s easy to get caught up in Semantic games (see December 16, 2005 post) to fool ourselves into believing that we’ve done enough, but in the end, intentions are really just unfinished business. So every now and then it’s important to ask: Have I really done enough to SHOW that I’m grateful for all the blessings and everyday miracles in my life?

The “Just fellow your heart” mentality, as I would call it, is increasing more prevalent. Well, at least it seems that way. But please, don't get me wrong, it's not my attempt to say that you should ignore your heart. But we can't always just do whatever the hell we feel like doing; in relationships, there are obligations and costs, which may even include aspects of personal freedom (oh no... can't do whatever I feel like, that's worse than being "Judged").

Nothing, including the blessings in our lives, is free. In life, so many things need to be paid for, and sometimes, the cost is RESPECT and APPRECIATION. But both of those cost time, effort and sometimes even pride, which is a cost many of us are not willing to pay.

But especially this time of year, there is an excellent opportunity to think of more than ourselves. One of the most difficult aspects of life is to face ourselves in the mirror and reconcile our behavior with our SELFISHNESS. Though, as always, I make a huge distinction between SELF-INTEREST (which is good, because enhancing your own life makes you able to be a better person for yourself and everyone in your world) and SELFISHNESS (which is bad, because taking and not giving leaves a void in your world; you are out of balance with everything/everyone around you).

So during this holiday, I’m going to make some phone calls, and send some letters (hand-written by regular mail) to friends and family who both earned and deserve my utmost gratitude.

How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?

Well… I’m sure we’ve all said and heard the words: “Oh…thank you… I appreciate you (or what you did) sooooo much.” Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before. But, it’s my contention that appreciation has to have substance behind it, and I’ve found that sometimes we really lack a true understanding of WHAT and HOW appreciation really works.

Now don’t get me wrong, with all the variables and X-factors that exist, it’s tough to measure exactly how we can show our appreciation or even our gratitude toward those people around us who have had an impact on our lives. But for me, it’s always good to start out with the basics; keeping life simple has more and more become my most favored modus operandi.

Since it’s my belief that words have meaning, I’ll offer a working definition I think most people would accept. Appreciation: “Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things.” This seems like an excellent place to start, because I think we often fail to recognize the value of a whole lot of things around us.

Now, it’s often said that you don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it. Well, I think that’s a possibility, but not necessarily essential to understanding the value of the quality of your blessings. I think that more often than not, putting ourselves first, in a SELFISH manner, diverts our attention from the blessings before our eyes. I guess it’s kind of like the whole glass half-full rather than half-empty thing; looking at life in a manner that exclusively says, "fill this half-empty glass up," rather than taking a moment to smile and think, "I've been blessed to have the strength to fill my glass half-way, though there's more to go."

Showing APPRECIATION is to practice the art of RESPECT (Though I'll discuss "respect" another time). Words are often essential in showing a measure of respect and appreciation, but the practice has to be deeper than that. Words are too cheap; they are not valueless, but they are too easy to come by. Appreciation, much like respect, has to be followed by conduct.

Although we ALL have tough times and tribulations to endure now, and for the rest of our lives, there are countless blessings in our lives, both large and small. There are so many opportunities to enrich our minds, souls and lives, that it’s important to take a minute and recognize that. One of the easiest ways to recognize that is to show your appreciation to not just friends and family, but the world at large. Donate money, donate time, do something beyond yourself for someone you care about, do something beyond yourself for someone you don't know, or maybe just give an act of kindness without expecting a “Thank you.”

How you show your appreciation is your business, but try and make sure that you make a conscious and genuine effort to show that you understand how many blessings exist in your life.

BOTTOM LINE: We are owed, promised or guaranteed NOTHING in this life, so when we receive blessings, whether they are as wonderful as a life-altering opportunity, or as small as a loving hand helping you out of your chair, be grateful. And remember, sometimes blessings can’t be seen with the naked eye, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t been blessed. Even some of our most difficult and painful experiences have blessed us with the knowledge and wisdom to become greater people.

Peace and Love,

nosthegametoo

HOLIDAY NOTE: To each and every person and family, may these days, like all others, bring you peace and let you feel love in its deepest and truest form... whatever that may be. MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY CHANUKAH, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

From both of us,

nosthegametoo & No_the_game