re-LATIONSHIP DIS-functionality
Brain
or
Heart
- Why he calls you when he does not mean it? Is it moment of filling his free time or does it mean he cares?
- S/he shows up once in a blue moon and gives you what you would expect from her/him but never calls back again at least good couple weeks or months. Why does he do it?
- S/he introduces you to his family but never calls you after that or calls you in holidays and never again. What that supposed to mean?
- S/he takes tons of pictures with you but never displays in her/his house? Hmm is it for bragging rights?
- S/he always have some kind of excuses not to be able to attend your special party. Hmmmm Is there a cat in the bag?
- S/he says he cares about you but when you call s/he recommends you take some damn pills with no sympathy. Is s/he that senseless?
- When friends around s/he acts as if you r the last person in his/her list.
- When you out everybody is in the center of attention but you. R u that ugly to stay with her/his ass?
- S/he never remembers your b-day forget about doing something special or even do not try to make up for it. Ha ha it is funny if u still think you will be together a long time. It is not the actual B-day it is all about attention.
- You just meet her/him but she says she is busier than President of United States. Hmm hmm I am still kind naïve about it. Even though I force myself to believe s/he busy. But you know what? A minute phone call can do it in most cases. It just only take “Hello, I just wanted to say hi and hear your voice”
If all these are happening in your relationship start running away from it. There are people who will treat you better than that.
PLEASE EVERYBODY PUT YOUR re- LATIONSHIP STEROTYPING. I just want to know
What to use Brain or Heart when it comes to love relationship? What do you vote ? Brain or Heart.
I vote for Brain will give reasoning for next post
With Love,
No_the_Game
8 comments:
Well now, someone sounds bitter. *chuckles*
Firstly, you can't stereotype a relationship. Not any more than you can stereotype races. The first person that says differently will really dislike having that debate with me. Seriously, it's not one you can win.
Relationships are just as different as people. The excuses may be similar, but the reasons are never the same.
I say use your heart in a relationship. Your heart is never wrong, your brain; however, can be fooled. Alos, unless you specifically seek out and obtain a detachment of emotion from logic, you are simply not going to be able to use your brain in an effective manner.
When people say trust your gut, what they really mean is trust your heart. Go with the gut feeling, don't ponder it. You will get it wrong sometimes, that's being human. Sometimes you will get it right. Use your heart to bring you there, use your brain to work it out. If the two don't reach a concensus, do whichever feels most right. If you make a decision based on the logical steps and something feels out of place, you may be making the wrong decision, but only you can know that.
And really, let's address a few things. This desire/need/yearning for attention sounds a little unsettling. Anyone that expects to be the center of attention at all times is rather narcissistic. And anyone that is a narcissist will go to great extremes to show how it is all about them, and they are incapable of seeing how relating to you in any way shape or form beyond their own benefit is a flaw in _your_ design.
As far as remembering birthdays and the like. I personally don't remember my own birthday, let alone anyone elses. I've always been bad with dates and I know a lot of men and women that are. Anniversaries (and why do people have this 6 month thing...1 year thing...blahblah blah) I do not understand the purpose. The goal here is to enjoy what you have of the person you want. If you find something unsuitable and you no longer want what you have, go elsewhere. People do not change. Behavior may change for any given length of time including forever; however, people fundamentally do not change unless they can come to the reasoning _on their own_ that change is of some benefit. That unfortunately, is human nature.
My overall conclusion really is...if you are unhappy...and _you_ continue to remain in an unhappy place..that is not the other person's fault. That is your fault. People need to take responsibility for their actions. It's not another person keeping you there, it's you keeping you there. You allow and enable this person to make you feel a particular way. I can not stress this enough. If _you_ as a person are not happy with what you have and where you are at...it is not someone elses duty to bring you out of it. If that is what anyone expects, it's time to understand your _own role_ in your life. And that is, without your desire for change and action to enable change...your suffering is your own fault. Your desires create your suffering, either fix it...or become a masochist and enjoy the suffering you are willingly going through.
And yes....I'm perfectly willing to debate this with whom ever cares to do so.
Ah..this may be of some entertainment and understand to some. It is also very true.
The only common denominator in all of your failures, is you.
How this pertains to relationships? Well I think that's pretty self evident.
^_^
Did you date my ex, or what??? hehe!
I agree with Prata, when he said he doesn't stereotype relationships. They're too different to do that with. Each individual handles each situation so differently from another.
Anyway, just wanted to put my two cents in. I believe that love does come from the 'heart', but it's worked out and managed clearly with the 'head'.
Do you know, that the mind is the biggest sexual organ in the human body?
If I would have listened to my brain, I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now! *sigh* My vote is for brain.
I'm with Prata. I say trust your heart. That's the equivalent of your gut. Look for that first initial feeling though. Anything beyond that isn't the heart -- it's the brain.
Once the brain gets involved and starts overthinking things and overanalyzing things -- that's when you get into trouble.
Oh, did I mention I'm a romantic that has had my heart broken many times? How come you never hear about some body having a broken brain?
Did I just change my answer? I dunno. Thanks for making me think.
Having a broken heart vs. a broken brain. The problem being with the heart is that it doesn't rationalize. The brain does. Yoru heart is the most 'childish' entity to follow. I say childish because it doesn't question...it doesn't matter why. Your brain does all of that. Something just makes you feel good makes you feel loved. Your heart will seek it out.
Your brain however, it raionalized things. It looks at something such as rejection and explains it away in a fashion that is much easier to swallow. When you are thinking emotionally you're not capable of doing this because your center for rationalization goes right on out the window.
Prata,
I think u should go for law career. U even said it ur post in ur blog. I wished I had half of ur brain. :)
My answer to heart vs brain is this-- If you go by ur heart and then do not judge your actions afterwards use ur heart. If u use ur brain, pls let some space for your heart to be somewhere in the relationship.
I make life easy for myself. Very simple concept isn't it?
Deb, I have not dated ur ex but I have known enough stupid ppl in my life. Forget about being invloved with them. I am very "brainy" when it comes to relationship. I had 2 serious boy friends. One begged later on (after his marriage)to be my fried. He called me not long time ago to tell me he really thinks I am his back bone. What a bullshit!!!
MY 2nd boy-friend still remains my heart and soul. I can not imagine myself w/out him in this world. We stopped dating back 2003 and still today we talk almost about every day- sometimes twice a day. I worked for him after we broke up and still keep close contact. He is the sweetest thing happened to me in my life.
I have met ppl but never was involved. Most my experiences are based on having a lot of friends and listen their date drammas. I know guys love to play emotions, especially when they do not feel u as much as you want them to feel u. Guys really can love you partially. It is up to us to decide to accept partical love or reject it.
Brea, I will always vote for brain. Because I always use analytical side of my brain. I do not like blaming my heart for failure of relationship. I use my brain and keep myself responsible all of my actions. When you use your heart u blame your heart. Why should we, if we can use the brain?
Michelle, broken heart heals over time but broken brain never does. Because it keeps making same mistake over and over again.
Thanks for commenting everybody
I'm about to go into a rant. I hope it eventually makes sense...*LOL*.
I was going to say use your brain and apply logic. There's nothing worse than being brain-dead in a relationship. That's how I feel when using my heart. Everyone keeps saying this and that about the person you're with and you shut it out because you're in lurve. Then one day the reality of the situation becomes apparent and you're like, what an idiot I was. I actually believed this person to be the one.
In retrospect, though, using the brain involves applying logic to a relationship. And sometimes relationship defy all logic...*LOL*.
So I suppose I'd have to go along with prata and..."Use your heart to bring you there, use your brain to work it out."
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