5.16.2007

STANDING ON THE SHOULDERS OF OTHERS

Note: Although we don’t seem to be blogging all that often anymore, we miss all of our readers. Thank you all for your very different perspectives.

I think everyone can agree that people need people. It’s just an unavoidable fact of life. For those of us fortunate enough to have the vast majority of our family members and loved ones still with us, it’s important to remember to thank them while they are still around; sending beautiful memorials and flowers are nice when someone passes, but they really don’t need them.

But are there times when those around us are really crushing us by standing on our shoulders?? I’m sure most of us have experienced this at one time or the other. Sometimes, even though we love them dearly and with our entire hearts, our shoulders may not be broad enough to handle the weight of those we support.

How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?

Well… what comes to mind is Economics, which is the study of how resources are allocated. Not unlike any other resource, the life and energy that we expend are finite. Some of us have more than others, but no matter what, there is just so much of us to go around.

Now, we all need assistance. The level of the assistance we may need varies considerably depending on the person. For example, ever had that family member or friend who has no concept of self-sufficiency and is always in need of a crutch?? It’s daunting.

Although complete independence from others is an allusion, complete dependence is not. At some level we are all dependent on something; maybe a job… maybe an investment… maybe an emotional support… maybe a lover… maybe a sympathetic ear… or so on.

But what happens when someone draws from the well one too many times??

Do you think it has the unintended consequence of breeding resentment against someone special to you???

Or maybe we just have to shut up and take it. But there's definately something unsettling about that prospect.

Peace and Love,

nosthegametoo

3 comments:

~Deb said...

Ah, thank God you’re blogging again! I’m always checking to see if you guys are around!

I definitely feel that people should have their limits, as well as letting that be known in the most tactful way as possible. If someone needs something, say yes if you can do it, or say no if it’s just too much. I fell into the whole “okay I’ll say yes”, out of guilt type of thing. It’s exasperating to say the least. And you’re absolutely right, it will drain you and cause resentment within the relationship- whether it be an intimate or family type of situation.

We all need someone, something, somewhere. We need dependency on whatever it is that’s most important to us, whether we’d like to admit it or not. For some, it’s God, for others, it may be a lover, friend or family member, like you said. For me? It’s the understanding that comes from my partner. If she didn’t understand me and wasn’t compassionate enough to feel my pain and anguish at times, I’d feel completely lost. I go through bouts of depression, which causes me to be a bit needy at times. Thank God for her, or I wouldn’t be here today.

What an interesting post! I’m glad you’re back! Enjoy your weekend and thank you for giving me something to think about.

black feline said...

thank u for popping by...one reason im blogging is to stay in touch with reality...especially when im thousand of miles from home..all by myself in Dubai...it can be very scary...

Dora said...

What a fantastic blog!! Nice advices.. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm willing to translate to portuguese some of your articles to my blog... More people should read them, for sure.

;D