My dear readership I know it is not what i generally put up on our blog. But that being said I feel that I know you guys well enough to share part of my daily life and struggles. I hope it is not too emotionally draining.
I love you guys. I do think about you guys more than you think. I think you guys are a good friend to me. You guys know more about my feelings then the people who see me daily or around me. I just wanted to share part of me.
With love and a HAPPY MR. KING DAY!
Much love and respect,
NO_the_GAME
Dear Dr.****
I got your email a couple days ago and read it a couple times. I am so glad schools doing well and there is some progress. Saint Louis needs progress badly. I also would like to talk to you about something that I have never talked before.
You might find my email a bit weird. I just need to talk to somebody who can understand me. I have being struggling with myself for a while now. It seems like I question everything in life nowadays more than I ever did. I question whether I made right choice to come to America, whether I am doing what I meant to do, whether I am doing right things by choosing not to belong to any types of religious believes.
I think being discriminated constantly or hearing unnecessary comments making me tired. Those comments getting to me. It is making me feel weak day after day. I know Chicago way better than STL but still it is not an easy task. I sometimes tell myself I just came to America wrong time. I do know the cause why I am treated differently but still it can be very emotionally draining.
I question and wonder about my future in America as well as in Azerbaijan. I have being following politics in Azerbaijan and it is not promising for me at all. I know for sure right now I do not want to return there either.
I am in a such situation that I am not emotionally close to my family anymore. We lived a part so long we do not relate to each other anymore. I lived away from them most of my adulthood. For the matter of fact I was 16 when I left for a college. So I even can not talk about issues to my family that bothers me. They just do not understand me. They tell me if you are not happy there then come back to Azerbaijan. They also do not understand if I go back I will not want to live under the current government. If I go back I will end up in jail because of my political views.
The question I have for you is " Is it normal to feel confused in life?"
I also plan to start to teach financial literacy to Hispanic and low income families. I think I need to keep myself more busy otherwise I will go crazy soon.
Not a long time ago I uploaded a couple of videos on Internet, which was not well thought at all, but reflected my views on current situations in America and foreign policy. I must admit my video was nowhere close to well thought but it was viewed over 80,000 times on google.
I am a biggest NPR fan and would like to know what would it take me to get on NPR or become a commentator? I know you do regular commentary on it. I just want to be heard and I want to break those stereotypes that exist in our society. I am not better or worse than anybody who does not look like me. I cry when I hear fallen solders. I cry and laugh when I listen to NPR. I am just no different but I do get treated differently. It is tiring at least. Some days better than others some are not. I would appreciate any type of suggestions or directions if it is possible to get on NPR.
I will start training for Chicago Marathon for this year. I will run 8K in Chicago on March 25. I wish that will fresh start my training. I wanted to end my message on the brighter note.
Regards,
****
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3 comments:
Hi there,
I came on over from Lady Rose's blog since I had lost your blog weblink.
These are some deep issues you are facing here on the future direction your life is going to take and it will require some detailed planning on your part.
All I can offer is that you do what is best for you so that you can live each day with the consequences of whatever course of action you do decide to follow.
Doing volunteer work is always a good plan of action and running the Chicago Marathon will definitely clear up the cobwebs and put you in great shape at the same time :)
All the best in 2007 and may you and yours enjoy the best of health, wealth and success in whatever you do.
Saludos,
~Enid
No the Game! Sweetness: you need a friend and some time to think right now. (as we all do!). You know I have lived in another country as well and I understand how you do not feel grounded in either country. Don’t go to a country where you will be put in jail for your believes. Stay in the US (or move to Western Europe) and find a way to develop who YOU are deep inside. Good idea to get on with NPR. I hear it’s very difficult, but I believe you can contribute. Don’t give up. Or see if there are other radio-shows that are interested in hearing you.
From your friend
Åsa
I feel for you, my friend... I know it's hard for someone like me to relate to your life's trials, but it must be very hard not having a real home base anymore.
Don't waste too much time questioning choices you have made in the past. Those things are done and cannot be changed, and they will probably end up being very good choices when you look back at your life in later times.
It is very normal to feel confused in life. How can one not feel confused when there is a constant barrage of propaganda, consumerism, and peer pressure aimed at all of us.
You are the shining light in your world. You can light up that path to happiness. Be influenced by your heart, your mind... not by the "outside" noise.
You are taking the right steps to "kick-start" your life by getting involved with a teaching assignment. Doing that will aid you gain contacts and realize new ideas and thoughts for the future.
I highly recommend watching the movie "The Secret". Although it may seem "hokey" and materialist at times, the movie does help to point oneself in the right direction in order to realize one's goals.
Take care...
Greg
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