APPRECATION: EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED?
By the time we reach adulthood, we should have figured out two things: 1) Words are cheap; 2) Even though words are cheap, they have tremendous value.
Now, that sure seems like a contradiction to me, but I guess it’s one of those absurdities of life we have to deal with. Perhaps relationships aren’t always about finding a perfect match, but more like dancing to the same tune, even if you both have trouble remembering all the words correctly.
How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?
Well… I don’t think know anybody who doesn’t revel in being appreciated. I mean, come on, who wants to think of themselves as irrelevant. But it’s not a one-way street. The truth is: appreciation without expression is not appreciation.
The man in the dictionary tells me that Appreciation is: “Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things.” That makes sense to me. So I have to wonder, do I express my appreciation to those who have earned it? The answer, quite sadly, is not as often as they have earned it.
In my experience, I’ve found that expressing appreciation is very big when dealing with women. I’ve seen other men try to purchase tokens of appreciation. I’ve seen women solicited material and emotional appreciation they haven’t earned. And I’m sure we’ve all seen variations of expressing and soliciting appreciation from our own unique perspectives.
But the question remains: How do you choose to recognize the significance of your mate?
It’s so easy to be selfish. It’s so easy to be thoughtless. It’s so easy to play the perennial victim because “I’ve been hurt in the past,” and all that crap. But the truth is, we can’t maintain a functioning relationship with our current partner if we are penalizing them for some loser WE OURSELVES choose in the past. Caution is paramount in life, but timidity and non-action can be just as detrimental as any other poor choice.
I wish I could say I’m sorry for all the times I forgot to tell my partner how special they are. But I can’t go back. However, I can go forward. It takes time, but I’m working on it.
But I have to ask: Is it just me, or does anyone else see that they need to do a better job of letting the important people know how special they really are?
Peace and Love,
nosthegametoo
6 comments:
Always...always tell the person you love with all your heart, how much you truly do appreciate them. If you don't tell them today, you may not get a chance tomorrow.
I also believe in this...Never, ever go to sleep angry. Make up before hitting the sheets.
It is easy to be selfish and play the "I've been hurt" card...but we have to realize that those people in the past, have nothing to do with your lover in the present.
As usual, great post!
Your post is really important for others to read. But not missing the opportunity to tell others that you love them is so important. As Deb said you may not get a chance to do this later....
I try to be grateful to a partner when I have one, but it's hard. The everyday bullshit can get you down and you don't feel thankful. Lol. But in the long run if you want someone to love you then you need to show them love. I remember going through a hard time with a boyfriend at the time and singing along with Lauryn Hill "Who do I need to be, To get some reciprocity."
Nice post! It’s always important to remind ourselves to tell the people we love and like that we do. Both Freud and Jung believed that self-fulfilled people recognize and praise other people which eventually lead to a loving world. (that was the very short version of their life-long studies…). By acknowledging good things in others – you will become more satisfied with yourself as well.
I know I need to tell the people who are close to me that they are special more often.
What a beautiful post! I always try and let people know how much I appreciate them, but I am never sure if they are taking it for Southern politeness or if they know I mean it.
Your words, "we shouldn't penalize our current partners for something someone in our past did" is wonderfully put. That behavior allows us to make excuses for our own bad behavior.
Thank you for your words. They were very enlightening.
I try to show my appreciation by continuing to do those things that it took to win her heart. It's worked so far. It's been 9 months since we were married.
Post a Comment