Your love is confusing and promising. What a confusion to have!!! Your love made me realize how much I am aware of my unawareness. I want to believe there is a room for me in your life without your permission. I am aware that without your permission all my dreams are obscure. Why am I attached your none-existing love? Maybe it is my fault!? Not at all! It is your fault because you keep sending mix massages on my way when I am ready to move on. You make me wonder if all these messages are tips of iceberg or your way of not letting me go. Maybe you know I am too good to let go. Maybe.. Who knows?

You know what? When I think this relationship I think of ocean and river. You are a greedy ocean taking water from the river without a promise to return it to its origin. I cannot be a river for you anymore. Un-return love drains my heart and my soul, while it is nourishing you.

You know what your none-existing love taught me? Your none-existing love helped me define what the love is. Before you, I would probably not be able to define the love. Now I know. Love is ability to realize the person is imperfect and has shortcomings, but we still love the person the same way as if you are not aware of at all.

You know what else I learned from loving you? I realized my love is as dense as autumn fog. It can disappear matter of minutes slowly but surely. Before you know it will be gone. Since I deeply care, my minutes can take longer than days, months, and even couple years. I know I can get over it because all these are not new to me.

With love,
ME

BURNING DOWN THE VILLAGE

NOTE: Remember, this posting is about men, women and relationships. Please, don’t get side-tracked with the opening material, or your political sensibilities.

I’m sure most of us have heard that: “All is fair in love and war.” If that’s the case, then love is truly a frightening prospect. Given the current state of geopolitics today, I’m sure most will agree that war is serious business. But then again, choosing a partner, or making a relationship last is also a serious proposition. So if both love and war are nothing more than a free-for-all, then as individuals we better make sure we have access to the best information possible and develop the skills needed to analyze that information in a matter that provides practical relevance to our lives.

Consider this quote that is widely attributed to the American military during the Vietnam War, which has now become a contemporary cliché: “We had to burn the village to save it.” Quite a confusing oxymoron, isn’t it?

I don’t know the origin of this quote, who it should actually be attributed to, or who was the first to promulgate it, but in any event, it poses an interesting paradox in the nature of war… and consequently, for the purposes of this post, for love.

How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?

Well… sometimes I get the feeling that in relationship terms, we can sabotage our interactions with others in what we THINK is an attempt to strengthen them. This is what brought to mind the quote about burning down the village to save it. I've found that we can fight so hard to protect what we believe is important, that we can unwittingly grip the relationship too tight.

I’ve found that we can sometimes do this unconsciously; I know I have. For instance, you might take space from your partner without helping them understand that the “space” is justified, and in your own self-interest, and not part of some slick, selfish or neglectful act. This can be problematic when it leaves your partner in the dark, because uncertainly in a relationship is a dangerous proposition to flirt with. Leaving things up in the air is damn near sleeping with fire.

Recently, I have taken time to myself to re-assess my life and some of my aspirations. I’ve taken time to be grateful to all the wonderful help I’ve had along the way, and re-direct my energy into becoming a more efficient person. It is my belief that there is always room for improvement, so I am currently under construction. It is also my belief that the greater person I become, the great contribution I can make to those around me, in life and in love.

In relationship terms, this has meant stepping back and taking a less emotional look at how and with whom I am connected with. Since we have such scarce time and resources in life, I’m putting much more effort into using myself, and the things in my life, in the best way possible.

Ultimately, since I'm in a re-orgainzing period at the moment, I don't really have a bottom line... or maybe I just don't have a point at all.

Either way, I'm trying to keep all the important villages in my life from buring. I have my doubts that burning them down will save them.

Peace and Love,

nosthegametoo