LOVE AND HEKA
The ancient Egyptians believed in a divine magic called: “Heka.” It was believed the creator-God “Ptah” used Heka when creating existence. The Egyptians believed all of existence, and all living things, possessed a measure of that divine force. Even the heavenly facilitator of love used the power of Heka to conjure passion between lovers.
In ancient Egypt, love’s divine inspiration was widely recognized. One of the heavenly embodiments of love came in the form of “Hathor.” She was the Goddess of love, music, singing and dancing. She was also one of the most important and widely worshiped Gods throughout the rise and fall of Egyptian civilization.
Today, the ancient Gods and Goddesses of Egypt are silent. We might even call the worship of these deities silly superstition to explain things they did not know, or could not understand. That may be true, but I must admit, when I think about love, there is an undeniable Heka to it.
How does this pertain to men and women’s misunderstandings of each other?
Well… anyone who has ever experienced love, or at least the feeling that we ascribe the term to, can attest to its magic.
There’s so many forms of love magic that come out of relationships of any kind. Even before (and especially after) two individuals make love, they can be bonded in profound ways. But sometimes I think we’re too mystified by the physical magic of sex. It ain’t much. Then again, it does have a special magic to it. My feeling is that it's very easy to get distracted from building a relationship, whey you are mystified by physical magic. For those of you who have had both, think about this one: Given two choices, which feels better: 1) “Great” sex with somebody, or; 2) that special intimacy you have at night when you're alone with someone you love?
When I’m with my friends and I listen to the discussions about “grown folks” business, some form of man/woman issues are bound to pop up. They all have great stories about a lover they say was SOOOOOOO great. They always speak of how important physical magic is. But I know these guys and girls, and I know what they don’t talk about. They speak of sex, but at home when they need the ear of a loving friend, it’s always someone who they once loved that stays in their hearts and on their minds. The loss of a warm body doesn’t seem to have as much impact on someone as ending a once loving relationships does.
It’s crazy magic I tell you. And I have a lot of questions concerning love’s magic.
How is it that we drive ourselves crazy with jealousy?
Why do we covet things in people? Why do we look for ourselves in others and then fool ourselves into thinking we’re getting to know someone? Why is it that so many people don’t understand that humans are not images, and you can’t read your “standards” into someone else?
Have you ever felt yourself being pulled toward someone you’re trying to leave? Have you ever pulled someone closer who might otherwise have left you? Have you ever been in a situation where fire is instantly rekindled, no matter what difficulties you’ve had, whenever you’re in each other’s presence?
If anyone has the answer to any of these questions, or better yet an explanation as to why these things occur… I’m all ears. I may have asked these questions in general, but now that I read over them, maybe there is more of me in these questions than I thought.
Peace and Love,
nosthegametoo
14 comments:
I would rather have intimacy than great sex.. With intimacy you can teach great sex but with great sex you can't teach intimacy. See when you are close to someone and sharing passion, thoughts, ideas, interests, that's great mental sex...Remember sex is in the head. A lover can try his or her darnest to give you the greatest sex..but if the mind is not there, it won't matter.
Emotional connection 'during' sex is the most ultimate experience one can have. Sex with just 'a person' is just that...purely physical.
Have you ever felt yourself being pulled toward someone you’re trying to leave?
*Yes. I was trying to break it off with my girlfriend, yet I still wanted to be with her physically.
Have you ever pulled someone closer who might otherwise have left you?
*Yes. It's all about the 'game'; the challenge of keeping them 'there'...sick, I know.
Have you ever been in a situation where fire is instantly rekindled, no matter what difficulties you’ve had, whenever you’re in each other’s presence?
*Yes. I have that now. No matter what fights we have had, or obstacles we are going through- it's always rekindled...which is why I am back with her...for good.
Great thought provoking post!
ya, if you do not pull someone closer when they are about to leave, then you never manage to make that particular relationship survive right? but since usualyy i am the more fickle minded one in a relationship, i get to be the one who is pulled back, and that is a nice nice feeling.
"The loss of a warm body doesn’t seem to have as much impact on someone as ending a once loving relationships does."
You are so right! This post was great.
Given two choices, which feels better: 1) “Great” sex with somebody, or; 2) that special intimacy you have at night when you're alone with someone you love?
You seem to speak on the above as if it is mutually exclusive, but it's not. Women especially can attest to this I think, but so can men. Certainly, you can have both of them in separate instances and you can attain one over the other more easily. It's easy to have a physical relationship with someone because this is an animalistic trait bred into all humans. We are after all at our core, animals. What separates us from other animals is vanity and "higher" thinking. I'm sure you're familiar with which higher thinking I'm promoting here. It's certainly not the opposable thumbs that does it. So anyhow...moving on.
Given the choice between the two, most anyone would choose two (having had the experience of course) those who have not experienced this sort of feeling will choose the former. But again, the two are not exclusive of one another; that would be a bad thing to get in the habit of thinking (not that I'm saying you are).
Another condition you are mentioning is how people speak of sex...etc. Well, yes, because it is both fashionable and easy to speak of the physical. It's there in your face right now easy to get out there in the open. It's simple. But people are in an ever growing chasm of societal pressure. You see, in America especially people are extremely protective of "personal space" and talking about your heart..your feelings is awkward to many. Not only is it awkward, but it is extremely revealing and people do not lightly reveal the things that _may_ hurt them later on, amongst others.
Think about the last time you told a group of relatively familiar friends about the things that would enable them to make or break you with the most simplistic of actions or words. Not many people do this, and for those of you that say you have; we know that way down in there you're hiding something. Everyone does. It is natural.
Questions? (as if I'm some kind of fine teacher lol...yeah whatever)
How come I can talk of my fears of financial distress but when the topic of sex comes up I clam up like a prude. I am very open about my life, but when it comes to sex it seems so taboo. I really admire the ability you all have to be so open and honest.
It seems when I do make a comment it shocks the shit out of my husband and then I am taunted with it FOREVER. I mean, I look at some people and you just know they must really rock your socks off in bed. They just have that look.
Ahh..the inevitable "exception to the rule", hehe..as I tend to point out there is always an exception (usually quite a few).
Tawny, usually cultural values and sometimes religious values that are set upon you as a child and growing up (despite your best efforts to rebel against the machine that is society and in particular your own self loathing or lack there of) often create the same sort of conflict you're speaking of. You clam up presumably (don't know you really nor am I qualified to give any kind of advice) because you view it as somewhat taboo. That's a personal reaction to some upbringing.
Also, the choice of words you make, seems to relay that you want to come out of that shell but there is some sort of shame or somethin' similar involved. Really this is all just a guess because again I don't know you, but people that shy away from sexual discussion usually don't like to share too much the things they like or dislike for fear of being chastised and for fear of being looked at in a manner that is sub par to your typical relations either with others or those close to you whom we would classify as loved ones. Just a guess...can't really say for certain without knowing you better but in general I think this may be close.
^_^ (No...I am not analyzing you...well maybe a little..and very poorly at that!) hehe
balance is something i've been looking for recently in my life as well. (i'm referring to your profile). it seems that the more i try to balance things, the more they seem to spin out of control. the less i stress, the easier it becomes to balance.
what's your favorite dessert place?
i cant say ive had these experiences because when i end it w/ someone it is usually a wrap. however, i know someone who is going thru the same thing now and it is very draining on them. i hope i am never in that kinda space ..
Wonderful post.
prata asked: "Given two choices, which feels better: 1) “Great” sex with somebody, or; 2) that special intimacy you have at night when you're alone with someone you love?"
The answer probably depends on what you personally get less of.
no_the_game - what a wonderful post.
Jealousy is the devil.*refering to your question about jealousy*..and i have to admit that the little green bastard gets me sometimes too...but uh...prayer helps...
We like sex because it is mechanical. Place tab A into slot B.
Unless you are boring in the sack, “Brace yourself its gonna happen.”
You really can't separate the two. Intimacy is the joy of knowing another person. When they say your name so you can watch their eyes dilate for a split second because even your mention has a biological effect. Unwrapping them as if they were a gift because are and you are lucky to receive it. The sights, tastes, smells of the moment before it begins. It is all intimate.
If it isn’t, then is it is a fifteen minute ride in which he should have to get up and get you a soda and a sandwich.
@ rose:
It’s been my experience that some of the mechanical connections that have us so mystified, and make us brag to others, can be learned and taught. Although there are exceptions (possibly equipment-wise or an unappealing physical appearance), the mechanics seem to turn into an illusion if there’s no heart involved.
To me: how can it be “great” if I never missed it when it’s gone?
@ yaz:
Life is more than “following your heart.” I think most of us have been a fool. But babe, you’re not really a fool unless you choose to continue along those lines. Much easier said than done, I know.
Peace and Love girl.
@ ~deb:
When your eyes are both open, and you’re able to rekindle what KEEPS you together (in a functionally healthy way… whatever that is), you’re probably on the right track. Best of work, and lots of love to you and your lady.
@ medusa:
When I’m at a cross roads with someone, I don’t pull any further. If someone needs a gimmick to keep them near you, I think you’re in a bad situation. To me, a relationship worth keeping is one where both people are committed and have CHOOSEN to stay. I don’t try to convince someone they love me. I once had to let go of someone special to me because of her “confusion.” Indecisiveness is not a quality I look for in an adult relationship.
@ brea:
I never missed a body. I have missed someone close to me.
@ prata:
As always, your thoughts are a welcome addition. I think that you make an excellent point about our fear of social intimacy.
To me, I think the ease at which people speak of the physical aspect of sex, and brag about their “great” sex, points to how easy it is to come by. You can hear people brag about their sex everyday, but how often do they speak of how “great” it is to work out and solve the normal and practical problems in their relationships?
Like all things of value, you have to work for something “great.” It doesn’t “just happen,” like we sometimes say with “great” sex. The worthwhile intimacy we all want has its price… but it seems that most people don’t know how to pay for it.
@ tawny:
You know, you never can quite tell by looks. You really can’t judge a book a by its cover. I’ve been surprised more than I would have thought, both positively and negatively.
@ joey:
You may be right joey. I don’t think there is a formula for “balance.” It’s a learning process. Finding balance and sustaining may be a stressful endeavor… who knows. I think it might have its price, like everything else.
BTW, my favorite dessert place is a small lounge in downtown Chicago.
@ cane:
Cane, you have a lot of intelligent things to say. I’m gonna have to run into you at a coffee shop somewhere on this planet one day. You name the place.
@ leesa:
You could be right. I suppose it helps to have known the difference.
@ courtney_eliza:
I’ve NEVER believed jealousy is a sigh of love. I think people hope for mutual jealousy so they can reassure each other’s insecurities. But it’s gotten the best of us before.
@ frida:
Interesting perspective. But who says “he” should be getting up to get the soda, especially if “she” can’t even make a sandwich?
@ kristin:
This can be a lot to think about. I certainly don’t have the answers. Good luck finding yours.
@ EVERYBODY:
If I find a definitive answer to any of these questions, I’ll let you guys know. But here’s one last question: if someone gave you the answer, how many people do you think would be ready to accept it?
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